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" That we understand this sentiment should come as no surprise. After a break-up, however, things are neither "safe" nor predictable.We're not only dealing with a painful recovery process, but we're also wondering if we'll ever have a satisfying relationship – or whether we'll be able to love or be loved – again."She needs to feel love and acclamation, and so she'll have sex with the guy who gives her attention and fulfills her immediate need. It can also be a way of retaliating from being in a relationship where she felt impotent, neglected, or rejected." Of course, men can end up on this emotional rollercoaster, too.Solomon-Ament says that this is really a form of self-sabotage: that by using casual sex specifically to deal with unresolved issues, you're only effecting a temporary cure that carries one hell of an emotional hang-over – not to mention the physical dangers of having sex with someone you don't know well.

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The answer lies in finding the root that connects them both: in dealing with one issue, you ultimately find yourself dealing with both.

Sex is the private poetry that flows between two individuals – even if only for the moment – carrying with it a unique signature of communication at its most intimate.

It's a physical and emotional union where our most primal expressions of self are laid bare to another being.

"It's a way to reassure themselves that they're still desirable," she says.

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"Others are very cautious: they want to protect themselves from ever being hurt again.And in order to begin that process, you need to examine the dynamics of the partnership that's ended and identify a starting point uniquely your own.